A friend died today.
He was so friendly.
He smiled and laughed easily.
He joked endlessly.
He brought laughter to those around him.
He was so smart.
He was a mentor to many.
He never let on.
He was sad.
He was desperate.
He was isolate.
He didn’t seek help.
He saw no other way out.

How lonely he must have felt
Even with friends and family who loved him
How can such a happy man with so much
Be so lonely
And sad
That he only sees death
As freedom from
The sadness
And the blame
And the pain he perceives
Others are feeling because
Of choices he made

Does he see the sadness
In the eyes of his children
Does he sense the confusion
In the minds of his friends
Does he feel the agony
In the hearts of those who love him
Is his pain gone

Yes
But the trail left behind
is still very real
and very hurtful
and I wonder if
he would do it again
given the chance