august 21, 2012

My time, thoughts and efforts have been voluntarily monopolized every single minute, hour and day of the last 18 years and 39 days by the needs, desires and wants of one dear child.  Any decision that has been determined took her needs into consideration.  Any plans that were made were done around her schedule.  Any personal indulgence was had with at least a twinge of guilt.  All sacrifices were gladly and willingly made and I would do it all over again if I were given the choice. 

Yesterday all of that went away in just a few hours.  Last night was the first night that our daughter was in her new "home" at the university dorm.  And I am at a loss as to what to do with myself.  I walked around the house aimlessly.  I drank a glass of wine in an attempt to ease the anxiousness that was overwhelming my gut.  So what now?  Our daughter is beginning the next chapter in her life, as must I start a new chapter in mine.  Now to figure out what that will entail. 

I read a couple of articles about empty nesters and what one should do to combat the depression and loneliness that surrounds.  Bowling starts up in a couple of weeks - a little lame but I do enjoy spending time with the girls.  My new job will take me on travels, which is good.  But there is still the time between 5:30 PM and bedtime every night.  And weekends.  The articles say to find a hobby or do now what you have never had the chance to do but have always wanted.  I can't remember that far back.  My husband asked me, "What did you do before she was born?"  I said, "we had two TV's in different rooms".  We no longer have that - and besides I really don't want to be that couple that lives in separate rooms again.  And I really don't want to spend the rest of my life glued to the tube.  Nor do I want to be tethered to the computer or iPhone (better start weaning off those now!).  Money is definitely an object (remember, I said she moved into the university dorm, which equals huge tuition payments for the next 4 years!). 

So if anyone has any great ideas, please let me know!